Who put me in this box?

We’re officially entering the last 10 days of our 30-Day Ritual Challenge.

And I have to tell you, I’ve discovered something about myself that I wasn’t expecting:

Somewhere along the way, I put myself into a very small, very confining box.

I’m not even sure when it happened.

But somewhere between life, responsibilities, motherhood, work, expectations, getting older, getting wiser, getting hurt, healing, surviving and simply having a whole lot more to think about…I became more rigid.

There were a lot more “shoulds” and “supposed tos” in my vocabulary.

• I should do this.

• I’m supposed to be that.

• At my age, I should probably…

• Someone in my position is supposed to…

And during this challenge, I started wondering:

Where did I learn all these rules?

Because if you had asked me before, I would have told you that I’m pretty open. Pretty carefree. And some days I even come across that way.

But do I actually live that way? Hmmm.

I know I can present as very professional. I can be sweet and motherly. And those are absolutely parts of me.

But I fancy myself as so much more than that. Actually, those aren’t even the “real” me. They’re pieces of me.

Because I also remember the woman who was fun. Daring. Carefree. Impromptu.

• The Thelma to your Louise.

• The “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere” girl.

• The “when in Rome…” girl.

• The “YOLO before we were actually calling it YOLO” girl. 😂

And here’s where it gets interesting.

That version of me existed at least 20 years ago.

Twenty.

My mind rejects this information. My ego has filed an appeal. 😂

But the funny thing is, I don’t necessarily want to do all the things I did back then.

That’s not what I miss.

I miss her energy.

I miss the persona. The avatar.

• She was confident.

• She held her head high.

• She wore rose-colored glasses.

• She expected things to work out.

• She was more optimistic.

• She didn’t seem to be carrying around quite so many invisible rules about who she was allowed to be.

And I give myself grace.

Age changes us. Life changes us. Responsibilities change us. Heartbreak changes us. Loss changes us. Experiences teach us things, sometimes beautifully and sometimes painfully.

I don’t expect to be the woman I was at 36.

But I’m starting to wonder if there are parts of her that I unnecessarily packed away.

Not because I outgrew them. But because somewhere along the way, I decided they no longer fit the woman I was “supposed” to become. And that feels deeper.

This is what these daily rituals have been giving me.

• Not another thing to accomplish.

• Not another box to check.

But a few intentional minutes every day to pause long enough to notice myself.

• To ask questions I might normally rush past.

• To notice what feels authentic and what feels inherited.

• What I’ve outgrown and what I’ve simply abandoned.

• What belongs to this version of me…and what might be ready to come home.

So as we move into these final 10 days, I want to encourage you:

Don’t rush through them.

Even if you’ve missed a day. Even if you haven’t done every ritual perfectly. Even if your revelations haven’t been earth-shattering.

• Pause.

• Notice.

• Listen.

There may be something quietly revealing itself that you couldn’t hear while you were busy moving on to the next thing.

We have 10 days left.

Let’s finish strong, Lovely.

And when we get to the other side, I can’t wait to hear what you discovered.

Maybe the question isn’t, “Who am I becoming?”

Maybe part of it is:

“What parts of myself am I finally ready to let out of the box?”

Watch out now!